The Wait (and a story of my stupidity)

Patience is something I don't have right now. I want my computer to load pages faster. I want to know where I am going to go to school already. I want to have the means to do it. I want to have a bigger car already instead of packing my car like a clown car. I want it NOW. I don't want all this tomorrow- next week- or next month.... I want it to be happening now. The problem with that is that it never happens in MY timing. It always happens by God's timing, and usually he is right on with the sequence of events. In my Christian faith, I look at God's timing as being like a giant orchestra that he is conducting- and although I can't see results instantly, its like he is moving someone or something else to cause things to happen on my behalf. Like wise- everything he moves for me effects someone else and what he is doing for them, and so on and so forth- so that everyone's life is crossing and moving and touching someone else (if you get my drift). I imagine if that movement was put to music- or made a musical sound- that it would sound like a beautiful symphony. Everything ends up making sense eventually, even if it doesn't make sense right when it happens. Its just really hard waiting for the end result, and even in the end result there is always something else that I have to wait for. Its a never ending cycle that I am sure is meant to condition me into something better. As my Pastor said in a message a couple weeks ago, "A butterfly will not have the ability to fly without the struggle to get out of the cocoon" (that isn't a direct quote because I don't remember it word for word-lol). The idea is that the struggle pushes fluid out into the wings, and without that fluid in the wings the butterfly doesn't have enough strength in them to fly. I don't want to "fly" until I am ready- so the waiting and struggling is for something.

On another note- the funniest thing happened to me last night. I went to the circle K by my house to get Joe cigarettes (a daily thing for me because Joe's license is expired which is another story in itself), and I decided to get a scratcher because I had a sudden thought that said "buy a lotto scratcher- just DO IT"- and most of the time I get these "thoughts" they are really not my ideas and usually purposeful things happen... so.. I get 2 scratchers and go to my car and I scratch the first one and nothing. The second one I scratch I instantly win another ticket, and in my excitement of winning SOMETHING (I never win anything), I get out, lock my door and then shut it---- with my keys inside. So I am standing there trying to decide whether to walk home and leave my car there with the keys in it- or try to call Joe (but he was home alone with a house full of sleeping children)- or try to do something else. Someone saw my struggle and suggested I ask the Deputy Sheriff that was inside (side note: the Sheriff's Dept patrols my area its so much in BFE and they are frequently at the Circle K). So the Deputy goes over to the fire station thinking they may have a slim jim, and brings back a firefighter who has a little kit of various things- all of which do not work on my car. They even took the antenna off my car and tried to push the unlock button with no luck. Eventually the Deputy asks if I live close, and suggests we go get the other key.... only thing is I have to ride in the back! I have never been in the back of a cop car- and I thought Joe would freak out for sure! The Deputy was a pretty funny guy, and asked if he should go to the door and get the keys. I thought that him going up to the door would make Joe freak out for sure, so I opt to go find the key. He lets me out and turns the car around while I run up to the house and find Joe asleep. I explain to Joe what happened, find the key, and the Deputy drives me back to my car so I can unlock it and go home. Over all I felt pretty stupid for locking my keys in the car- but thank God there was someone there to help me. And now I guess I can say I have been in the back of a cop car- and it is the most uncomfortable ride ever! Oh- and BTW the other ticket I won didn't get me diddly. LOL. I am still trying to find the purpose in that... I'll let you know if I figure it out.