Little Girl Lost

Today I honestly felt like no one around me gave a crap- well at least pertaining to me. I did laundry and watched kids all day- and people passed through my day and didn't care or notice that I was having a really down day. It dawned on me how insignifigant I am to others. Everyone is just living their lives with no idea that there is someone around them (maybe more than one) that just needs to talk, or a hug, or just SOMETHING- some sign that someone out there cares and you aren't alone. I have tried to reach out and talk to so many people. My husband says to stop repeating myself because it doesn't change anything it just makes me feel worse (although I love him with all my heart he sometimes doesn't get it). I try to talk to other people in my life and I have yet to find someone that gets it. I get "I'm sorry" or "that sucks" or I get avoided all together. I give up on trying to vocally share my heart. What a waste of breathe! I am worried about my next Drs appointment. I am terrified of losing our place, and having the utilities shut off. I am crushed that school isn't going through and that I can't find a job. I feel worthless. I feel unappreciated and left out. I wish I had family that could be there for me or parents that weren't P.O.S.. I have to borrow my husband's family to feel like I am apart of something, and truthfully I still feel like I don't belong. What is wrong with me? Why can't I have something wonderfull happen to restore my hope... I am losing my hope, and my faith is being tested. The only parent I have is not of this world- and at times he remains silent while the world is knocking me down. Its times like these I just want to cry out for it to end. I know that my voice is heard- but it feels like I am crying out into the dark.