A Day To Be

Awh. A day to do nothing... at least a day when I don't have anything to do, and there is nothing that I have to do. Maybe I should do the laundry- but I don't know if i would be able.. and if I want to. LOL. (we don't have a washer and dryer at my house so I have to borrow from the parent's in law). My body aches with tiredness. My eyes are only open because I have a cup of coffee in front of me. Olivia woke up 4 times last night- and coughed for what seemed like forever. I tried to spare Joe from the late night invasion- so I took it all on- of course. Then Wyatt woke up extra early hungry so I fed him and tried to get him to go back to sleep. The up and down all night and morning is wearing me thin. Even with the tiredness I wish I was busier today. I wish I had some sort of importance somewhere to need to be there. I wish that I was able to do something really fun with the girls to get my mind off of Joe not being here- and what feels like the impending doom that is lurking in the future. I know God's got a plan- and I am so thankful for that because I know I don't have any plans. Every time I try to make some they get wrecked- so I give it up.

Last night when I woke up with Ollie I went over to their window to unwind the curtains so they would shut (apparently they twist them around and they stay open?), and I looked up at the dark sky and it was full of stars. It was beautiful. One great thing about being in bfe- not much light interference, and so you can catch a beautiful night sky when it is clear. The strange thing is that yesterday was cloudy and rainy and today is cloudy again- but last night in the middle of the night it was clear. It was amazing and reminded me of how little I am to this world- and in the whole universe. I stared at it for a few before having to calm Ollie again because I wasn't sitting next to her. I love that my children need me- I just wish it wasn't when I should be sleeping... at least sometimes. Mommy Bears need their sleep too... or they get grouchy.

Maybe it will be a 24 hour girls day extravaganza? Or maybe I will just be lazy and watch movies and maybe nap? we'll see what the day brings.. need to go make more coffee that is for sure.