I just got back from the Drs not to long ago. I am honestly not suprised. Its back. The Cervical Intraepithelial Neoplasia (CIN) Grade 3 is back.... this time it is in (from what it looks like in the report) 4 different areas. I have to be refferred to a "specialist" for a consult, and then probably another LEEP procedure- i.e surgery. Oh joy. How many times do I have to do this before it is gone forever? There has to be away to make sure it doesn't come back. I have an appointment with the new doctor next wednesday- from what I gather this is all urgent, again. More road blocks going up... slamming on the breaks here. It didn't hold me back last time, so I don't forsee it doing it this time, but you can never be too sure what the plan is. This all happened to me in 2007 about this time- the Jan- Feb time period. I am just so glad it wasn't full on cancer. That was what scared me... what if it was cancerous? It took forever to be seen- but the wait was worth it, now I know what I am faced with.
I am so tired from the terrible sleep last nite. Joe was hanging out with friends and came to bed at 2- but I tossed and turned since 11. Olivia came in twice to be with me- she is so attached lately and I have to get to the bottom of whatever is scaring her. She fell off my bed because it is so small, so I told her to go lay on the comfy couches... and she fell off of that too! I went out and laid with her, and then i had to get up at 6 am to get ready for my appt. Wyatt slept until about 6:30 (thank GOD), and I changed him, fed him, and let him play while I got ready. When you don't get enough sleep you aren't a morning person and the rest of your day is just one long drag. Thank God for my mother in law who so sweetly volunteered to go with me so I didn't get any bad news alone, and then bought me a skinny vanilla latte (yuuuuuum- my favorite Starbucks drink made light!!). It was such a boost. I am trying to sip it now to gain some sort of momentum for the day so I don't walk around like a zombie. The bad news for me is the house needs a good cleaning (floors, dishes, everything).. and I have no motivation or energy.
I need something to happen. Something good. Something inspiring. Something that restores my tank to full and makes the gloomy metaphorical rain clouds following me go away. I need miracles.. I need sleep.
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