long time no post

Wow. I haven't blogged in forever. I guess partially that was the lousy jobs fault, and partly because I really haven't known what to say. My life seemed to get so far off track in the last month it was ridiculous. That job was ridiculous.. but thank God for bitchy bosses and being able to tell her I'm not going to take the bs. I am focused back on getting into school- this time I'm not sure if I should do the 12-13 month LVN route, then go for my RN or BSN after I have the LVN and start working... or if I should wait to get into Everest's RN program in Jan.... or if I should try to get into a BSN program that is 2 yrs. I have always wanted a bachlor degree. That was one of my goals to have one by the time I was 30. I just dont know which route to take at this point. I don't want to give up on my goals. I don't want to abandon my dreams... I just don't know how to take something for myself without feeling selfish. They are all full time schools too- so how do provide for my family for 12mos- 3 years (depending on the program). ARGH! And Joe is no help.. he doesn't really give me advice about it anymore.. he just says "which ever one honey". I know he is going to start training soon for his firefighting. He has something so wonderful going for him- I don't want to take that away either. And then there are the kids- I am pretty much their caretaker. How do I go to school 8 hrs a day, work, and still take care of them? I know it will all work itself out. If I want something bad enough it will happen.

On another note- Savanah's birthday party is 2 days away- and I still need to get decorations. I bought the paper goods yesterday... although they are just animal themed not little pet shops. No party stores out here have LPS stuff- so I am making it more of a animal theme.. its still cute though. I am going to make animal hats, and paint faces, and let the kids color in a gigantic LPS coloring book I got.. and have animal races. Its going to be fun. I am such a nerdy mom its unbelievable. I guess I just want to be the mom I never had. I have already spent too much on the party- and I haven't even gotten balloons, decorations, or the cake. LOL. Thats ok though, as long as the kids have fun. :D